despondency.
“ I used to a n a l y z e myself
down to the last thread
Used to c o m p a r e myself with others
Recalled all the smallest glances
smiles and words of those
to whom I’d tried to be frank
Interpreted everything in a bad light
laughed viciously at my a t t e m p t s
‘to be like the rest’
And suddenly
in the midst of my laughing
I’d give way to s a d n e s s
fall into ludicrous despondency
And once again start the whole process
all over again
In short
I went round and round like a squirrel on a wheel.”
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
