un-derneath

Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts

Monday, 25 May 2015

trip to Nepal .

A very unique travelling experience which is unlike any other previous journey I ever had.

Traffic is chaotic but somehow organized. Lots of honking. Cows appear randomly & even lie down in the midst of crazy traffic. Smart doggies that guide you to the shops they belong. Rubbish everywhere. Electricity that can go off randomly during the day.

Food with all kinds of spices I love & my favourite masala tea. Warm welcome from lovely people who also taught me cooking nepali cuisine. Cute kids smile & ask for chocolates. Breathtaking scenery & adventurous activities.

And I experienced many first-times.

It's kinda overwhelming for me as a first time visitor.

But I'll be back again. For sure.

‪#‎travelexplorelive‬ ‪#‎nepal‬ ‪#‎kathmandu‬ ‪#‎durbarsquare‬

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rejections .

R e j e c t i o n s
hit like fine needles.

You won’t notice
until it hits c r i t i c a l point.

Like an expanding balloon.
Like a sleeping volcano.
Like a boiling frog.

It doesnt hurt much
cause you are n u m b .

Or at least you pretend to be.

But it a c c u m u l a t e s .

Like a timed bomb.

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Saturday, 7 March 2015

presumptions.

Presumptions

are d a n g e r o u s .

Like monsters luring in darkness.

They attack

when you are d e f e n s e l e s s .

They t e m p t you

to lose grip on reality.

They b l i n d you

when you are pompous.

Once you realise the truth

mind and reality in d i s s o n a n c e

you squirm like a child

who's afraid of the darkness.

You try

to hang on to your ego

yet

can't help but plagued

by self-destructive g u i l t .

- f.s.

Ethereal Oil Paintings by Meghan Howland painting birds

(painted by Meghan Howland)

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Thursday, 19 February 2015

devil.

The d e v i l knows you well

He knows your deepest f e a r

He knows what you ache for

He knows what you dream of

He knows your greatest t e m p t a t i o n

He injects you with adrenaline rush

He pulls the strings to make you move

He knows your greed

He knows your desires

And at those empty moments

leaving you a l o n e

letting you suffocate in regrets and guilt

c r i p p l i n g

The devil knows you well.

- f.s.

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Monday, 20 October 2014

tidal waves.

In between the tidal waves

my mind was lost

m e m o r y was found

I drifted

in the waves of r e m i n i s c e n c e

following the trail of thoughts

wondering where to go

I wish I see a glimpse of future

You see

life is always full of s u r p r i s e s

You capture the good and accept the bad

Held captive by the insignificance

and you miss the blessings

Staring into nothingness

I inhale salty breeze

I exhale the heavy clutter in my chest

Water swiftly withdraws from the shore

incoming and outgoing

I feel the p u l s e of the ocean

Gazing upon the stars

f a s c i n a t e d

my heart hammers

- f.s.

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Saturday, 11 October 2014

downward spiral

The human kind

has a tendency of self-destruction

Some have morbid addictions

to s e n t i m e n t a l i t y

Some have rabid obsession of darkness

They adore sadness

They drown in misery

Some say

p a i n

is a proof of being alive

And

The whole process begins all over again

over and over again

into a downward spiral

Unable to e x t r i c a t e

- f.s.

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Sunday, 21 September 2014

happy birthday to me.

“ The year you were born

marks only your e n t r y into the world

Other years

where you prove your worth

they are the ones w o r t h celebrating.”

― Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible

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Monday, 27 January 2014

goal.

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Saturday, 25 January 2014

bird eye.

I guess

it’s kind of funny

we look at our l i v e s

up in the air

from a bird eye view

Throughout our lives

we have the tendancy

focusing on o b s t a c l e s

We don’t focus

on what we own

We don’t focus

on the f u t u r e

Instead

We get stuck

in our own circle

in p r i s o n s built by our own hands

and that’s it

We never thought of

e s c a p i n g

from our b o u n d a r i e s

- FiSweet

(Credits to beautyenthralled)

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Tuesday, 7 January 2014

lies.

I know

I know I have to stop

Telling lies

d e c e i v i n g people

Ended up deceiving my own mind

Things that were supposed

to be just j o k e s

I i m a g i n e d them

and I thought they really happened

Things that I made up

that were supposed

to be part of self-consolation

I thought they are part of my m e m o r i e s

It’s frightful

I’m s t r u g g l i n g

between what is real and what is not

- FiSweet

(Credits to poorartists)

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Sunday, 5 January 2014

remember when.

Remember

when you were 2 years old

all you wanted

was cuddles and a warm bottle of milk

Remember

when you were 5 years old

all you wanted

was that little piece of toy

It was sitting on the shelf

s h i n i n g bright in your eyes

like it had been waiting forever

and you thought it said

come pick me up

Remember

when you were 10 years old

all you wanted

was a pencil box

a very u n i q u e one
and you planned
to put in all your t r e a s u r e s

As we grow

we want m o r e

we want even more

when we o w n more

We own so much more

than we ever n e e d

and still

never s a t i s f i e d

Technology improves

and human nature d e g r a d e d

Few of us

still enjoy writing letters to friends

s a v o u r the moment

before opening an envelope of s u r p r i s e s

Few of us

still stop on busy streets

look up to the sky

and admire the beauty of n a t u r e

We produce

We consume

and then a b a n d o n

Never s a t i s f i e d .

- FiSweet

(Credits to toshi-shutta)

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Wednesday, 1 January 2014

♥ H A P P Y N E W Y E A R 2 0 1 4 ♥

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Wednesday, 25 December 2013

♥´¯`•.¸¸.☆ M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S ☆.¸¸.•´¯`♥

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Monday, 9 December 2013

dilemma.

Sometimes

I stuck within

my self-created d i l e m m a

For sure

it is so hard to please every one I know

it is also very hard to please m y s e l f

Sometimes

I feel like there's a d i f f e r e n t identity

living within in

E n t w i n e d with my soul

I am so t o r n by my own thoughts

with every single options or opinion I made

there is always a little voice

inside my mind

i n s t r u c t i n g me to do otherwise.

Having

h a l l u c i n a t e d scenes

running across my mind.

- FiSweet

(Credits to trishpaik)

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Sunday, 17 November 2013

Children.

" Those children

they deserve to have d r e a m s

to have unlimited hope for their futures

Children
are the most i n n o c e n t
kind of creature on earth

Why would you

ever want to destroy

one's f a n t a s y of the society?

Perhaps

it's the best

to let them live

in their own N e v e r l a n d

before being pushed

into the c r u e l t y
of the adult world. "

- FiSweet

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Sunday, 1 September 2013

electric shock.

I totally

fall in love with that feeling

that m o m e n t

when I hear an amazing piece of music

and I can f e e l

hairs standing on end

Like I’m having

a teeny weeny e l e c t r i c shock

traveling from the back of my neck

extended to my fingers

all the way to my ankles

Like I’m c o n n e c t e d to the composer/singer

right at that magical moment

- FiSweet

go-travel-all-aroud-the-world:

young and fabulous | via Tumblr sur We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/74605422/via/renateele

(Credits to diamondbeautywithin)

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Thursday, 22 August 2013

mental debates.

I always
have little d e b a t e s in my mind

Anytime
Anywhere

I thought to myself
' Is it really better to be c o n s i s t e n t ? '

And finally
I have an answer to myself

and it was a confident no

I love the ever-changing self
I love c h a n g e s
they are p r o o f of experiences

I experienced
I f e l t
I fell for something
it doesn't matter
if it's p l e a s a n t or not

For good experiences
you t r e a s u r e them
For bad experiences
you l e a r n
Experiences are good to have

and I believe

Man live in the h o p e of changes

- FiSweet